A good parent isn’t measured by how much sacrifice you can make.
What if I told you that your sense of self worth and individual identity is just as important with a newborn as it was before one? What if you’re exactly the superhero your little one thinks you are?
Deciding to begin or expand a family isn’t usually a decision that’s made lightly, and this period of transformation should be surrounded entirely by unconditional support and encouragement. But what often happens, is that birthing people and parents lose their individual goals and needs to live up to their new title. In the age of social media expectations, lack of community, skyrocketing cost of living, and other factors parents are left feeling like they’ve failed just because they still have human needs beyond being a provider. I don’t believe that’s a fair (or necessary) trade. As a Perinatal Mental Health Counselor, I not only guide new and expecting parents through the emotional, spiritual, and mental challenges of pregnancy and parenting - but also focus on the unique characteristics and traits that make you who you are.
Things that have nothing to do with your ability to parent
Your mental health diagnoses
A good parent is not defined by the absence of mental health obstacles. Having the desire to be better for your little one already demonstrates the love you have for them, share some of that compassion with yourself too.
Your personal upbringing
A tumultuous childhood can absolutely influence our parenting styles and decisions, but ultimately our parents only lay the initial groundwork for our behaviors. Beyond adolescence, we gain control of our philosophies and goals.
Your past trauma and/or experiences
While various life experiences may shape our views on the world, and the way that we navigate it - having a painful or uncomfortable past does not mean the present or future will be the same. Every day is a brand new opportunity.
The way you show up in the world
Gender identity, sexual orientation, socioeconomic class, highest level of education, etc. do not indicate how good of a parent you can or will be. Individual expression and a sense of self can be huge in terms of positive parenting.
What holistic care means to me
My personal journey with mental health, navigating healthcare, and experience as an advocate
Informed Consent is a mandatory practice
For a patient to fully consent to a procedure, intervention, or treatment plan - they have to not only have access to all of the information surrounding what is being offered, but they also have to understand it. It’s crucial that people feel actively included in their progress towards recovery and can take ownership of their growth and emotional development. After all, you are the center of any care being provided. It only makes sense that you be the most amplified voice.
Social Determinants of Health
Most patients benefit from a balance of medication management, and talk therapy. While introducing medication regimen can be beneficial, it does little to address the stressors at hand which can leave many feeling hopeless after only part of their symptoms have resolved. Together we will acknowledge your past, honor the neurological pathways your brain has created as means for survival, and then implement a perspective that no longer requires living in fear, shame, or isolation.
Custom tailored approach to healing
No two patients are exactly the same, and even a pairing of people with identical diagnoses can have variable preferences regarding treatment plans and approach. While exploring your past, present, and goals for the future - I will gain an understanding of your communication styles and how to utilize these unique traits to best support and empower you on your journey.
I’m here to help you thrive during your parenting journey, not just survive it.
How my philosophies as a birth worker translate to my standards of care as your Certified Perinatal Mental Health Counselor
Evidence Based Practices
Becoming a birth & postpartum doula just before the beginning of the COVID Pandemic meant a lot of curveballs. It was a whirlpool of constantly changing hospital policies regarding doulas and whether or not they count as a birthing person’s sole visitor for labor, contradictory information about the safety of the vaccine in pregnant communities, and the high emotions of people expecting to go into labor any day with the knowledge that should they test positive for the virus - their child could be temporarily removed from their care. This immediate public health crisis wasted no time getting my feet wet in terms of navigating everchanging information and guidelines, and set the tone for the frequency in which I sought out resources to provide the most up to date, evidence based information for my clients.
Barriers to Receiving or Finding Care
Finding a healthcare provider that not only is accessible (preferably in network) but also provides adequate and compassionate care was a maze. Knowing what to ask, and how to deepen my understanding of a specific provider’s philosophies of care helped set the tone for what the duration of perinatal care would look like. Understanding where and how to locate these affirming and patient oriented healthcare professionals was crucial for helping my clients have the positive birth experience that they deserve.
Self Advocacy Tools
As a people pleaser by nature, I have first hand experience within the difficulties of advocating for myself in healthcare settings. Becoming a doula, I realized there are countless other people just like me who struggle to set and reinforce boundaries when receiving care. This discovery of community (the cart returners, the door holders, and the people who apologize when someone else bumps into them) gave me perspective from both the lens of a patient and care provider. Feeling discouraged from discussing earnest inquiries or concerns became my enemy, and I began fighting to empower myself and others through education and the strength of every other person who has been told to be as quiet, and small, and easy as possible.